#its not that i don't like them. its that the effort vs rewards

[lightnersdream]

i gave up on making more references. you will draw paleet

[macsimagines]

Shinichiro and Draken with a s/o who has a pet cat or rabbit or something and her pet is always taking up her time?

Me and my babygirl bunny

Shinichiro Sano VS. Noodles the Cat

This man has fought and bled for what he believes in. He has faced adversaries that would make most men crumple in fear, and has garnered the respect of many of them. So for him to call your pet his most hated enemy really does mean something.

He is mad salty about it. Not even going to pretend he doesn't have issues with Noodles the cat. You're his sweet perfect angel that was sent form heaven as a reward for all his efforts in this life. Your cat was some kind of divine retribution for crimes he must have committed in a past life.

"Hello, my sexy beautiful and absolutely perfect angel, Y/N~~~!!! .... and Noodles." "Mrow~"

Shinichiro swears the feeling of hatred and disapproval is mutual however. Your cat is constantly hissing and swatting at him when you're not looking. Ever seen a grown man get punked by a cat?

"He's the devil-fucking-incarnate baby, he tried to slit my throat last night I swear-," "Oh baby, stop being silly." "...B-but the scratches..."

Truthfully, he's too scared to demand you choose between him or the cat. He doesn't want to risk you picking that feral trash goblin you call a kitty-kitty over himself... Cats don't live that long anyways... Right?

Ken Ryuguji (AKA Draken) VS. Mr. Fluffers

First and foremost, he bought you the fucking thing. Worst purchase of his life.

But you had confessed, a deep and profound love for the cute little fluffy beasts one night. Had told him it was your one true hope and dream to have one someday and he had decided about a year of you two moving in together he would make that dream come true.

So what if the little beast looks like it craves human flesh, he's sure the little guy is just skittish and that with time it will warm up to him.

Wrong. So very fucking wrong.

Mr. Fluffers loves you. He eagerly awaits your pets and hops onto your lap to receive your attention and affection. Draken, however, he seems to be out for blood. Every time he walks into the room the rabbit is thumping and kicking up his feet at the mere sight of him.

"I'm pretty sure this thing is sayin' fuck you with its eyes." "Don't be ridiculous, and Mr. Fluffers has a name."

Meanwhile Mr. Fluffers:

He knows how much the little fucker means to you though. And he is by no means scared of a bunny. He can kick that bunnies ass...maybe.

Draken lets the little thing stick around despite the fact that it only seems to bite him and naw on his things. Anything to keep you happy.

[geostelar5]

"Because your my friend, any other stupid questions?" - I feel like this moment really needs to be emphasized, because as much as we talk about how Annabeth had a shitty childhood, has abandonment issues, etc. I feel like we don't talk about Percy's as much because he doesn't really bring it up that much. But its really important to Emphasize that all his life, up until Yancy it has been Percy and his mom VS the world, and for someone who's fatal Flaw is Loyalty, this must have KILLED Percy more than anything else. Not having anyone to really connect to, to live your life giving everything for your friends that you manage to make, only for it to be thrown in your face as you are ratted out, as you are betrayed or you have to move schools again. Percy is a person who THRIVEs when he has a group around him, he is a natural Leader, someone who brings people together, a grounding presense because everyone can trust him. They know that they can trust him because betrayal would never cross his mind. So, imagine how powerful, how impactful it is to Percy when he FINALLY has not one, but two friends that he can throw his whole heart into loving and trusting and they return it with just as much frevor. To assure him that they WONT turn against him, to be on His side no matter what. Grover was the first person that Percy met who clung to him and bonded with him, wanting to be his friend first and foremost. His best friend, the first one who didn't give up on him when it got tough. And now we have Annabeth, the second one, this girl who used to seem to hate you for who your dad was is now assuring you that she would turn against her mom, who she clearly craves approval from because you are friends. Who makes it sound like its the most obvious thing in the world to her. That your the idiot for even bringing up the possiblity that she would turn against you. Imagine how powerful that is to Percy, to finally have your Loyalty Rewarded, to assure you that *NO* your feelings and wants to go to hell and back for those who love you aren't wrong! That you WILL find people who return that love like its second nature to them. To hear some validation for all your efforts in the form of two best friends who will ALWAYS be there for you.

[egg-emperor]

Predicted to see the "I'm not calling you a good girl, that was shit" meme or whatever with Eggman and Sage done inaccurately compared when done with Metal and yup lol. Y'all really don't remember the canon dynamic and how conditional his praise of Sage is, to think he'd still praise her like that if she didn't succeed in doing what he wants

He only praises her and calls her a "good girl" if she did exactly what he wanted the exact way he wanted. The scene where he yells at her suggesting something that'd benefit him but not with a method he approves of, working with Sonic, shows that he doesn't care about intent or give an A just for effort, if there isn't any success

It has to be to his exact desires/terms/standards. The times he praises her and says he's proud to her is only after she literally saves his life,

and saves the world he wants to rule.

He calls her a "good girl" only after she does all that lol (and even sacrifices herself in the og ending), not just because She Tried. It wouldn't be enough. She literally had to save his life and the world and give everything (including her life in the og ending) to get that kind of praise

How he acts when she has good intentions and tries her best to appeal to his desires in a way he doesn't like vs when she does so in one of exact ways what he wants, for comparison:

Second is literally the next scene and you can trigger it to play immediately after the first btw

Plus wouldn't overpraising her for every small thing take impact away from the rare cases he finally does anyway? Whether it's to show how conditional and manipulative he is or even for the surprise of being genuinely proud and praising (but still always in a self-centred self praising way as her creator of course), it'd diminish the meaning if it was happening constantly and so easily

Eggman absolutely overpraises his ingenious creation to himself all the time to stroke his own ego, and speak of it highly once proudly when introducing it to enemies. But not to its face in direct interactions anywhere near as commonly, the particular occasions would be when he's especially proud and wants to let them know to keep it up

He keeps his standards high to keep them working hard for those very rare moments of praise. It creates a stronger drive when it's a rare and hard to get reward. He *programs* creations with this desire, even

Recieving his praise is one of those rewards. It most certainly is in Sage's case because it touches her the most and she clearly works so hard in being loyal and efficient to receive

Thanks for coming to my ted talk and yeah I got a lil petty over a silly meme my bad :P But I always love more opportunities to talk about their dynamic and how it's a lot more unique and nuanced than people are acting like it is.

Sage may be the golden child compared to Eggman's other creations and something to boast and take pride in by him, which is very appealing to his ego- but he's also very calculative in where and when he actually openly shows it, especially in front of/to her directly. The nuance and complexity makes it super interesting and compelling!

[doberbutts]

Hi, I recently came across a post of yours that said

"The only thing men have to lose from supporting feminism is misogyny. Feminism is not about tearing men down. It is about lifting women up."

I disagree with this assertion. Well, the first one at least, I absolutely agree with the second one.

I think men, materially speaking, do have things to lose from supporting feminism, aside from just misogyny.

Men would lose the ability to take advantage of women's labor. Either for free in the form of labor around the house, or for cheap by paying them less compared to men (this usually being achieved by relegating the majority of women in the workforce to positions that have been devalued as a result of being associated with womanhood, like teachers or nannies or housekeepers and so on).

I don't believe it's dangerous to acknowledge that oppressors dont have material reasons to cease their oppression, because after all if they they would've stopped a long time ago. Misogyny is pervasive not because of some pure ideological effort, but rather because it's a convenient excuse for the people in power to take advantage of a quite large subset of the world population (and as consequence spread as an ideology).

Of course I do think that quite a lot of men, once they understand this reality, would choose to reject the privilege being offered to them as they recognize accepting it would mean taking part in and upholding the system, but in doing so they're clearly not only giving up misogyny, but a tangible advantage in life that would make their lives easier (not to mention that, even if they did want to do this, the system is nonetheless pervasive and inescapable in its current form, so they would still benefit regardless of their intention. That's male privilege, after all)

I also do believe that men of all sorts suffer from living under the system. I reject the idea that all men equally benefit from it and that none ever feel its aftereffects. That being said, I do still think it's relevant to acknowledge that even men whose manhood is questioned by the system (either rejected or seen as a threat or any other way in which it doesn't fit the perfect idea of a wealthy abled cishet white man) and suffer as a result are rewarded for being men in the first place, even if they can't take full advantage of the benefits reserved for the ideal male archetype.

(I'm largely leaving my thoughts on how trans men fit in all this because I believe that to be a fairly complicated discussion)

I hope I don't come across as picking a fight or arguing in bad faith, and I'm open to hearing counterpoints if you feel differently from me (of course, if you even care to engage at all. Feel free to ignore this if that's not the case)

I mean I don't think you're picking a fight I just think you're dramatically misunderstanding what I'm saying, partially to the point where you're saying you disagree while repeating my logic back at me.

Men have nothing to lose from supporting feminism except misogyny. Taking advantage of women's labor is, in fact, misogyny.

Feminism is not about tearing men down but about lifting women up. Yes, by losing male privilege, one could I suppose argue that there are a lot of losses that come with that. To me, that is not a material loss, because the only thing we'd be removing is the entitlement to that privilege.

When I say feminism is not about tearing men down but about lifting women up, what I mean is this:

There is a fairly well documented pay gap, with men of most demographics being paid higher (even if marginally so) than women of equal demographic. Fixing the pay gap isn't lowering men's salaries. It's raising women's. What they have stays the same. What they lose is the ability to pay women less- the misogyny.

There is a fairly well documented disparity regarding women in the workplace vs men, especially in physical labor and in STEM. Fixing this issue does not remove jobs for men- it judges job candidates on their actual ability instead of sex or gender.

This is also what I mean when I say this contributes to a net positive for both sides: don't hire a shitty welder just because he's the only man applying. Hire any number of the experienced and proven welders that are women who also applied. Return to teaching welding in schools, get any kid interested in the trade the knowledge they need to start. This will not only improve the quality of the trade skills your specific employer has to offer, but it will also improve the quality of trade skills for the future generation that will replace you when you retire or die. Literally the only thing men have to lose in this situation is misogyny- the misogyny of keeping women out of the workforce, and the misogyny of keeping women from learning the trade in the first place. They get more qualified people working and all for the low low cost of not being a jerk to women.

Misogyny, like most oppression, is about control. It is not about making things better for just one demographic, because often time that very same demographic does suffer under that oppressive system while simultaneously benefitting from it. As said in my previous example, continuing to hire shitty welders just because they're dudes while deliberately passing up good welders just because they're women just makes things worse for everyone.

Not accepting college applicants just because they're women while taking substandard men who can't get in without daddy's money just makes things worse for everyone.

Continuously questioning the credentials of accomplished and professional women traching a class while nodding along in agreement to some jerk-off man's half-assed non-researched opinion on twitter just makes things worse for everyone.

Voting for Old White Man #736194 because his opponents with politics that align more closely with what the country wants- and needs- are women just makes things worse for everyone.

Ditch the misogyny. That's all. Level the playing field by actually bringing women up to the standard we've set for men. Feminism is about lifting women up.

[skimmingmilk]

d and y for ask game perhaps?

D: What’s the most personal fanfic you’ve written?

This is a tough one... It's hard to pinpoint what makes a fic more personal than another. There are personal elements in all my fics, a piece of myself in each of them. But I think I have at least one that stands out for every major fandom I've been in for the past decade.

Two Roads in the Woods (Over the Garden Wall) - I hadn't written in years, I was severely depressed, recently laid off, and in crushing debt. Then I watched Over the Garden Wall for the first time in 2014, and then I started writing. Writing that fic saved me, posting it gave me a reason to wake up and get something done. It gave me purpose, as silly as it might seem. I don't think I'd be writing today if it wasn't for that fic. It's the only one I've never reread because I need it to stay just as I remember it.

Divine Restorations & Repairs (Good Omens) - I co-wrote this with one of my best friends, sylwritesstuff, and it was truly a labor of love for both of us. I won't speak for Syl, but for me, a lot of my own personal experiences with abusive relatives and self-worth were woven into the story and it was very cathartic to resolve some of that in the text through multiple characters.

Where Water Wears Away the Stone (Sonic the Hedgehog) - I think if this fic hadn't been written when it was, it would've been the original Picket Fence trilogy that was most personal to me because that was a story I've wanted to tell since I was a child and it opened the floodgates to more writing than I could've imagined and new friends and community. However, Water Wears Away was the first major project I finished after a debilitating injury that left me bedridden for months and was the catalyst for my chronic pain being an every day struggle instead of just an occasional one. I was exhausted and always medicated, writing was a serious struggle. I didn't know if I'd be able to be as prolific as I'd been because I just didn't have the energy anymore. But this fic was not only a success, it was hard to write. There was so much action and hardly any dialogue, which isn't my strong suit, but I'm so proud of how it turned out. Because once I finished that, I knew I could finish anything <3 And Sonic's personal journey ended up making me so emotional in ways I didn't expect... just that pivotal moment where he realized how much Tails actually meant to him. He wasn't just a tagalong until something better came along. He made everything better.

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories?  Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?  

No, it's so funny! Most of the time my popular stories take me entirely by surprise xD "Sometimes the Picket Fence Isn't Perfect" is one of the few where it feels like my pride and its popularity are evenly matched, but like... "Sharing is Caring" has only been out for two months are already had more kudos than "Where Water Wears Away the Stone," and the latter is one of my all-time favorites. Not saying I'm not proud of Sharing is Caring or that it doesn't deserve the attention its gotten, but Water Wears Away has been out for almost a year and a half, so I just expected it'd have taken longer for the former to catch up, you know?

And then "Little Gestures" being so popular is always a shock for some reason xD

But I feel like this happens in every fandom I've been a part of. I never expected "Wishful Thinking," my Thanksgiving one shot for Over the Garden Wall, to be my most loved fic on AO3 ever, but it is! It was just a prompt request I took 10 years ago, but it consistently gets love all these years later. Whenever I get a comment for an OtGW fic, I'm like, "It's Wishful Thinking, isn't it?" xD

I'm starting to learn and accept that the fics I put the most effort into aren't always going to reap the most rewards, and that I can't possibly pretend to predict what's going to resonate with people. And that's perfectly okay~

Thank you! <333

[thirdset]

cannot even say wta is in its straight era because technically it is not but the vibes are so weird. not necessarily bad. but weird. i think it's because there is no balance. what do i mean by that? i don't even know. am i rewriting history in my head? maybe. i think the "old era" of like...serena/maria/caro/angie/aga/ana/vika were so...not necessarily messy but so different? the rotations were better somehow. you could group them together easily and they played each other more often.

but now i feel like im lying!!! like aryna/iga, aryna/elena, elena/iga in theory have a similar sort of dynamic that can translate from on court to off but i cannot make it work...coco's rotational abilities are interesting to me because there is potential. i think jess is so....straight married boring and maria fell off the face of the earth. even tho i still think they're fun mirrors of each other meaning...it's a flop fest. you understand me etc. iga is just like....you can't even have messy (fake!!!!!) fun with her psychologist or whatever. that video of her inviting jasmine over for pierogies for CHRISTMAS like girl...i was thinking. and then NAOMI who i thought was the centre of the wta universe is like...where are you? iga/naomi is still interesting to me but their lives SEEM so opposite that i find it hard to like. just ignore the fact that naomi has an entire baby. even tho rpf is FAKE fake fake. and just using them as pre-tense for stories. like i get that i am not really a tinhatter in any sense of it. but idk. i think that's part of why m/m rpf is more popular because it's like. easier to forget about the rest of their lives where with women it is still so much more centred? idk. maybe i've lost my marbles. who else even is there. i know i wrote a dreamwidth post with all my potential pairings i'd write but...that is under lock and key. aryna is def, imo, the most rotatable because she is the most extroverted and in everyone else's business. i thought emma had so much potential but now i'm like...mhm. karo is like. ok dyke but also ? mhm. doubles is so...i could make it work but the effort vs. reward of writing it stresses me out too much. bianca is my favourite "no homo" "im not lesbian just to clear that up" remix but she's so isolated from the tour that it's hard to make it work. absolutely NOBODY cared about emma/bianca even though i still think it works and is interesting. jannik/carlos does nothing for me i'm so sorry. holger/anyone i can be into. i keep starting and deleting a very dumb and indulgent denis/domi fic where domi decides to coach denis and it is a mess that's kind of successful except it ends up with a v weird sexual dynamic ¯_(ツ)_/¯. if i am being honest i am still thinking about dyke novak. sorry. other pairings i just...idk. i don't even think the current crop of players are boring but there's just less content and they feel more media trained/resistant to saying anything interesting? but then i read transcripts and watch interviews and i don't know if that's true. even in trophy speeches...it's like i see. i think i still just have brain blockage of how f/f is perceived vs. m/m and i'm not...trying to be like well you must read/write f/f to be a good person because that's...stupid. it is just...i do not care about men nearly as much as i do women in any facet! it is not on purpose! or to prove anything or out of any sense of ~activism. i just cannot find men that interesting and i do not want to come across as standing on a soapbox or whatever. but idk. the difference is interesting to me? i felt like it was SO easy to come up with random tidbits of ideas/stories/pwp vague ideas for the like....2012-2018 era and now i'm stuck half the time and everything feels so repetitive. maybe there's just less...grounded in reality and the season is so jumpy without consistency (not of results but just of repetitive match ups or like...they are in the same place. and talk to each other off court) or whatever. i thought the olympics was going to be ripe with rpf happenings but no! it was just this weird "qinwen isn't friendly" bullshit. tho i guess that did result in one v good fic so there's that. idk. i have no point here.

already on AO3 pairings (* indicates ive written them already, from only this season, restricted from dec 2023 to now)

jannik/carlos (192)

roger/rafa (46)

holger/casper* (39)

daniil/stefanos (34)

karen/andrey (16)

novak/rafa (15)

grigor/andrey* (12)

daniil/andrey (11)

novak/andy (10)

flavio/ben(12)

jannik/sonego (8)

stefanos/zverev (7)

hubert/iga (6)

carlos/ferrero (6)

nikola/mate (5)

fritz/zverev (5)

jess/maria* (4)

iga/qinwen* (4)

draper/jannik (4)

novak/roger (3)

aryna/iga* (3)

karo/iga (3)

andrey/zverev (2)

daniil/daria (3)

paula/aryna* (2)

holger/jannik (2)

elena/aryna* (2)

carlos/novak

grigor/hubert

novak/holger* (2)

emma/bianca* (2)

iga/elena* (1)

qinwen/li na* (1)

naomi/iga*

maria/serena

jannik/carlos is soooo dominant it's crazy...good for them etc. the gap between m/m and f/f is wiiiiild but not really surprising. other pairings i've written but before this year angie/andrea, caro/serena, caro/alizé, caro/kristina, borna/donna.

potential pairings (that i would write, probably)

iga/bianca

novak/denis

aryna/jess

madi/sloane

jess/madi

coco/iga

jasmine/iga

donna/maria (technically already wrote this but)

elena/qinwen

holger/denis (spider man meme basically)

retirement fic still has a hold on me...which is so dumb but it does. but it never hits the way i want it to. maria/serena/caro/angie and any iteration of them....you have my attention. there's other pairings that i'd never write but think are interesting. jess/taylor, emma/qinwen is like...i can see the vision and i deeply respect it but i cannot make it work. reading it, hell yes. idk. i am back at a point where writing feels very useless and too self-indulgent and the payoff isn't really worth it but. who knows. off-season is a great time to make shit up.

[retphienix]

honestly the most universal truth about my experience in warframe is that with anything that needs grinded my preference has always been "Endless mission > Constantly redoing a short mission"

And the fact so many of the grinds in warframe are outright player hostile to that kinda sucks ass

I mean even the fundamental design of how endless missions exist (for the most part) is against that and that has always bothered me, like why even bother having the enemies get stronger if no rewards are accompanying it? Not even like, noteworthy increased credit drops- anything! The fact rotations universally cycle back to AABC instead of offering anything worth a damn to continuing beyond that first C is annoying!

Some aren't though! Thank you, Disruption, I'm so so so so so sorry that I hated you at launch, you have truly come around to being something I adore <3

But then you have like "Eidolons vs Orphix" where the "go fast, restart, go fast, restart, go fast" option is the only viable one because the other one is not just "slightly" worse, it's EXPONENTIALLY SPIT-IN-PLAYERS-FACE WORSE for like, no good reason.

You have the annoying grind I did for the first time in like 2 years recently, grinding lith relics (the relics themselves) since the most efficient way is to just keep doing the void capture over and over, yippee 40 seconds of gameplay, my favorite lol Where's my endless mission that gives tons of liths, hmm? Where's the defense mission where wave 10 gives 3 relics and wave 15+ gives like 5 since 5 waves equates to 5 minutes on average anyway, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

The recent operation being "Redo this mission 10 billion times" instead of any sort of endurance deal that I can just keep doing until I'm done doing it, that was a touch lame. EXTREMELY rewarding but representative of the "just keep redoing it" format for rewarding content instead of any sort of relevant reward for endless missions.

If it's fast, it's rewarding as all hell, like cracking relics on base chart.

If it's slow, it's like DE forgets to incorporate scaling rewards for the time put in- what happened to endurance defense and the like? I'm nostalgic for good endless content (even though that was more a symptom of there not being rewarding content but I digress).

We really do have like 2 endless formats that at least attempt to be rewarding in the entire game, and isn't that just a fucking joke?

Disruption with its endless BC rotation where you can choose between B or C and just keep fighting forever- nice!

And Arbitrations- which are lacking in evergreen rewards to keep people doing them- but they ARE on the same mentality where endurance = endless C rotation, that's something! And like steel path you are 'passively' being rewarded via vitus essence which is another thing I wish was further explored in endless mission types (more of the passive thing- more steel essence for going longer etc).

Sadly, I don't see Warframe really throwing much of a bone my way. The game as a whole is all about speed now and it's great fun! I just want some more love tossed towards endurance of all forms, from going 20 minutes in survival to going 60 minutes for the hell of it, gimme something worth the effort my guy.

If you would have told me nearly ten years back that the game would still be following AABCAABCAABC rotations for endless missions I'd be like "what? Surely not! Surely they reward you for going further :D" and I'd be wrong.

thank you Disruption and Arbs for being the exception, may you both be granted nodes/shop options that increase your viability even more! (beyond just relic farming :()

[taegularities]

hi, big hug 🩷 im sorry you feel like a "writing machine" or unappreciated for your works. i understand the whole "high effort with little reward" and i often feel like people online can start to expect things out of others, often forgetting that it isnt bots running these accounts, its humans. i appreciate you, even if i say it a lot less now. i think working full time and going to school is super draining, i do it too and i often find myself relaxing by reading (including your works) i cant imagine the amount of planning and effort that goes into writing big pieces like you do, but i promise to try to put a bigger effort into appreciating you when i can ✨

that said - if you do decide to write cmi, i cant promise that itll get the same hype it used to (god i miss old tumblr too 😭) but i hope you know that at least one person will enjoy and appreciate the crap out of your work 🙏 i love you always, take a moment to breathe in the sun today (i say this to my students and it made me giggle writing it out to you, but i do hope you try it)❤️

i do love you sm 🥹 tbh, i do feel appreciated for my work most of the time, but it's been so odd lately? like something shifted? how people ask for updates or pose rude questions when i've said so many times i barely get to breathe — that's when i feel a bit sad bc i'd just love a lil 'hey don't overwork and take care of yourself' instead of a 'you keep teasing us and then disappear' lmao 😭 the time and brainpower (that we don't have) that goes into stories is insaneeee, but we're still always so happy about one lil paragraph. 25k vs 20 words, and we still get so excited about them. but yeah, just in general.. pls y'all do remember we're not bots, those words in fics don't just happen :')

tysmmm, baby, i adore you and am so glad you're always here to support me no matter what. those of you who do all have my heart. (gosh yeah there was way too much sun today and i'm so bad with the heat, so i'll enjoy the fan for tonight 🤣 this is so cute 🤍)

[rorschachisgay]

i find reading 4chan posts absolutely fascinating in a like anthropological study way. everyone on that site has something horrifically wrong with them but there's a clear dividing line between people who are managing their lives but hang out on there because they are also unbelievably racist vs people who know theres something wrong with them and with the world but cant cope with it and get encouraged by the site to sink deeper into their own misery. i think there was a point in time when there were people on 4chan who werent reprehensible human beings but we're long past that point and now its just purely egregiously awful.

but there is something so interesting about it as a like hive of human suffering. no one on there is like actually happy with their lives. sometimes you get those posts like the turtle one i just reblogged that are kind of beautiful in their earnest appreciation for life and that we can all empathise with but there's no doubt in my mind that every single other post that user has made is like talking about the pussy phrenology of different anime girls.

you have this very specific type of person who is completely disaffected by society and is deeply isolated, either has no real friends or no one he feels close with enough to be actually honest with, understands that the system we live in is broken and that he himself is a broken person, but has chosen to concentrate all that anger and misery into becoming the most hateful version of themselves possible. probably doesn't even see it as a choice because he doesn't see immediate reward for making the most minute amount of effort to improve his life, so assumes that it's totally helpless. and that's not to say they don't live in circumstances that do make profound change incredibly difficult because i have seen that some of them do, but there's also a refusal to stop being in online spaces that are actively encouraging you to destroy yourself.

there's this very specific type of person you get, which is someone whose rage and misery comes from their own narcissism. they are convinced they are smarter, better, more worthwhile than everyone around them, that everyone they know is a moron and a worthless person. but they themselves see no success and no happiness in their own life, despite the fact they feel they deserve better. and because they know they're the best person alive but they're also a failure by their own metric, they become hateful both internally and externally. obviously to some extent we all feel something like this, we all at one point or another get stuck in a shitty job or shitty class or shitty family that is holding you back and you're with genuinely bad people. but with this case, with this kind of real internalised hatred, your anger escalates outside of just immediate irritating coworkers, there's this genuine pure and unbridled hatred and rage for everyone around you for experiencing any kind of earnest and genuine emotion in the face of your own misery.

and that kind of mindset is an epidemic on 4chan, that each of them deserves more and that they despise anyone who feels anything earnestly. they're not really capable of escaping their own cynical hatred. unsurprisingly you see this a lot with white supremacists and misogynists, since most if not all 4chan users are also white supremacists and misogynists, where their whiteness and maleness should automatically make them the superior but they aren't successful and therefore there must be some other reason, some kind of conspiracy against them. there's this constant awareness on 4chan that the system is fucked but they're also unable to put the pieces together because of their own bigotry and their own refusal to see that they might be wrong.

it's interesting to me because on one level there's things I understand; i have been profoundly lonely and isolated almost my entire life, i feel disenfranchised by the terrible system we live in, i love the movie Drive. i can also sometimes understand the desire to make yourself as reprehensible to outsiders as possible, to become some kind of truly vile thing to make everyone who doesn't understand feel ill and uncomfortable and awful. but i also can never understand everything else, the deep-seated true venomous hatred for all humanity, the bigotry, the total close-minded determination to be miserable. it's like looking through some kind of hideous black mirror of what life could be like if i didn't grow up being taught feminist theory and anti-racism. because i don't think there's any single innate trait that proves you can or can't be one of these people, it takes effort. you have to work to expand your knowledge, to open your mind, to keep trying. you have to be able to accept when you're wrong. you have to choose to care about people.

but like i said i do read a lot of these posts and it is always fascinating to me how much these people try to escape their humanity but are so human in doing so. there's something kind of Sisyphean about it.

there was a trend back in the 2012s on here to talk about 4chan like it was full of leet dark hackers and at some points in time there have definitely been people on there who know how cybersecurity works and how to get around it, but as of this present year in the 2020s, the userbase seems to be almost entirely just the most pathetic, saddest part of humanity imaginable. i assume that has a lot to do with the shifting userbase, the website changing hosts and domains and owners, etc, and the different face of the internet now. mostly now i think they're just profoundly sad.

and its like. I do find these people fascinating. but they are also so fucking unbelievably mind-numbingly boring. they will never produce anything true or beautiful because they are so fucking scared of feeling and of people. they will just sit alone for their entire lives believing that if it's going to get better it will only be because of someone finally recognising their genius.

i don't know if you can or can't help them. I don't really see it as our duty to do so. if someone is a nazi for their entire young adult life i don't think any of us should have to fix that for them. I think if the system we live in is changed it will also make life better for them, because it will make life better for everyone, but i don't particularly want to assign the duty of "we NEED to help these poor racist white men" to anyone. i understand how people get in these positions but it's the same issue again and again. a total refusal to take any action out of a sense you should not be inconvenienced, people should hand stuff to you.

i have no real deeper conclusion here. i just find something really strange and interesting about looking at a post about seeing a beautiful spark of hope for humanity and knowing that that same person, the day before, wrote about how he intentionally shit himself in public to try and make a woman on the bus uncomfortable.

[sweepseven]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Another post in a seemingly unending series of posts in which I talk about writing to make me feel like I've accomplished any actual writing. Results so far are middling.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

53! How and when?? (The answer is "Kà and a pandemic.")

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

228,456

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Cirque du Soleil at the moment, but a long running rp is soaking up the majority of my creative thoughts just now. That's its own whole thing with a blog and fics and AUs upon AUs.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Wing Dust (Miraculous Ladybug, T, perpetually bemused that I wrote this in the first place and yet here it is at number one)

Downpour (Mad Max Fury Road, G, my first for a fandom that did so much for me as an author)

War Song (Mad Max Fury Road, T, strong contender for favorite fic I've ever written)

Idle in Neutral (Mad Max Fury Road, G, I forget I wrote this one all the time and whenever I get kudos for it I'm like whom??? I love that it has a life all its own.)

Mantle (Mad Max Fury Road, G, another one I continually forget about lol)

That's the curse of writing for tiny fandoms! The ones I have loved most, that have mangled my brain for months on end are destined to have like a dozen readers total. On the other hand it's very gratifying to know I'm writing for a small handful of people extra extra psyched to find content. And in the meantime I have these, many of which I've let myself forget, that have found their audience anyway. It's a very rewarding feeling, like I could make the effort, move on, and still leave people happy years later.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Most times yes!! And I'm so so lucky to get the most thoughtful comments of all on my most niche fics. Makes it all more than worth it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Walkabout and I love it. Cirque du Soleil Kà, T.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Tea Series by a mile. Didn't know I had it in me until pushed by @studiokawaii , and I'm so glad they did. Cirque du Soleil Kà, T.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Honestly so few people are aware of them that it's not really a risk. What is hugely embarrassing is the confirmed knowledge that Cirque artists know about and have read some of them. But there's nothing I can do about that, lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! Somehow I feel like I'm always writing it, and then I look at my total body of work and am like "...where is all of it." Historically it was mostly M/M, but Kà got me actually writing F/M for the first time. Most common themes are experience vs. inexperience and tense power dynamics. I'd love to write more dub con.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Only ever one. Decree, another for Mad Max Fury Road, in which the Vuvalini are each granted one single potentially worldshaping wish à la Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I know why people don't click on it, but I'm fond of it!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and tbh I can't imagine anyone would bother.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I'd be open to it if anyone cared to take on the project! I love translated fics. What a nice thing to do, granting someone else's work the opportunity for new eyes.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but again @studiokawaii and I have had some great fic/art collaboration in the past couple years with inspiration coming from both directions.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Snape/Harry. I never talk about it, I've never written it myself (I think?? maybe in high school I did), but honestly it's been so long that I think there's no unseating it now. The amount of care, dedication, creativity, and talent coming from that group, even after so long, is truly unique and remarkable. All time favorite ship to write has been Counselor's Son/Twin Sister by a landslide.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It pains me, but I think I'm kidding myself if I try to claim The Shape of Things To Come doesn't qualify. I love the idea, I know exactly where I want it to go, but something about the enormity of the ground that needs to be covered in order to get there has spooked me.

I also have two highly embarrassing WIPs - one for Shadow & Bone and another for fucking Teen Titans - that I doubt will ever be finished. I just adore both ideas and it's fun thinking they've at least taken some kind of shape somewhere, even if they never make it out into the world.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Creating believable characterization and distinctive voices from very sparse source material. At least that's what I've been told, which I take as an immense compliment. I also think I write tension rather well, whether it be sexual, conflicting emotions, or threatening hostility.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well right now my ability to finish anything feels pretty fuckin weak. I struggle with action scenes, like physical fights or scenes in which a lot is going on in multiple places at once. Hitting a natural rhythm with them is very difficult for me. Pacing for longer fics doesn't come easily to me either, and I always worry if my longer work reads like a bulleted list of stuff I knew needed to happen rather than an actual story with a true and natural flow. That's part of what's bogging me down with Shape of Things.

I also love commas too much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends. You can't just throw it in there imo - it's a great opportunity for mindful characterization and shouldn't be treated like checking a box, or worse, a reminder to your audience that the source material doesn't match the language you're writing in. I'm not multilingual so the most you're likely to see from me are vague hints at certain dialects and accents in Kà, for instance, since they're not speaking any real language anyway.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Teen Titans. It's still out there somewhere, likely a somewhat embarrassing blip on the radar of some long forgotten LJ community. I got some early encouragement there that put me where I am today. Nurture and welcome new writers, people!!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Borderline Suspect. I put so much into it. It was a real milestone fic for me, unlike anything I'd ever written before, and it stands so apart in my memory that I just can't choose any other. At the time I thought it was everything I could possibly want to say about Ka and CS/TS, but when it was through I found myself more motivated and inspired than ever.

Some of the most valuable and rewarding feedback I've ever gotten came from this fic, and the intensity of the response, however contained by the size of the fandom, has made me feel incredibly lucky. People came out of nowhere to talk to me about it, send art for it, push me through writing lulls with comments that turned entire days around. I made new friends because of it. I don't see myself writing anything quite like it ever again. Even if I did, I couldn't dream of a more gratifying response. Cirque du Soleil Kà, E.

[fatedtime]

Can you explain what you were talking about with the whole author intent vs. reader intent surrounding LB2 criticisms? I kind of get it since a lot of LB2 opinions I've seen are proposals for alternate paths the story could have taken/character shuffles (I remember "swap Beo and Napo" was hugely popular back when the LBs first came to NA), but I haven't really seen much recently/it still feels kinda off from what you alluded to. Maybe. Just pickin your brain a bit, if ya don't mind.

Okay, so, first I'm going to stipulate that I haven't read Lostbelt 2 since it's release, so my recollections on its specific themes (or, what I gathered from it, because I find Lostbelt 2 to be kind of muddled generally) are going to be inexact.

The simplest way I can explain it though is how fandom treats Skadi. Skadi is a pretty widely-hated character, characterization wise. I think, in terms of passion of how much the people who hate her do hate her, she's matched by extremely abrasive characters like Medb. I've heard tons of people talking about rewriting Skadi, tons of people emphasizing distaste for her direction, and METRIC shittons of people dismissing anything the author wanted to say with her as 'she's waifubait', without taking any time to actually dissect the intention behind her. Conversation around Skadi immediately devolves into assuming nothing about her themes has any narrative value, and that the totality of her builds into one thing: Skadi only exist for men to sexualize her.

This is sexism, full-stop, but plenty of other essays exist that dissect fandom culture and the tendency to put no effort into analyzing mediocre female-characters while fixating heavily on mediocre male characters, fleshing them out and developing them far beyond what actually exists in the source material.

Which like, I think Skadi is a mediocre female character, but every time I've seen Skadi discussed, it is with two motivations: either to dismiss her as a waifu, or throw her personality out entirely in a 'rewrite', discounting every single thing the author is trying to say with her and putting the reader's own desired Skadi in its place. These rewrites tend to make her 'cooler' and give her 'more agency' without understanding that Skadi's lack of agency is the point.

Lostbelt 2 is Ophelia's Lostbelt, a character defined almost entirely by her own lack of agency and her romantic fixation on a man who doesn't really care about her best interests. She exists as a satellite to him, doing his bidding and entirely willing to sacrifice herself for him, without any hope of reward. She wants what he wants. Her dreams are his dreams.

Skadi parallels this.

She's a woman who, in her Lostbelt, is so paralyzed by the weight put upon her that, in lieu of making any real decisions, instead constructs a world of child-farms. Skadi and Ophelia are both infantile in their decision-making ability; they defer entirely to other people (or, the lost images of another person.) These are clearly meant to be toxic relationships, and LB2 is a story about relationships and what happens when the parties within them are emotionally immature. How if you can't grow up, you can't live, and will make it impossible for those around you to grow and live as well.

This is why the story has sympathy for Skadi, too. It's a fucking awful position to be in, and getting mad at people who are emotionally stunted is an exercise in fucking futility. The world has failed them, of course they'd fail others. The world has failed them -- what is the point in another goddamn revenge fantasy of punishing a woman who wasn't given the tools to live as an independent being? Society itself tells women that enough already, while also telling them that they have no worth outside the men they serve. There are enough stories about it in the world.

The stuff with Surtr, the stuff with Napoleon is all about relationships -- positive and negative, cold and hot, immature and mature, healing and hurting. I firmly don't like the idea of swapping Napo out for Beowulf because Napoleon exists to be like, the ideal of Napoleon's hope and freedom. It's this ultra-positive idea of self-actualization and belief in yourself. Beowulf just... doesn't... have that? I feel like it's another thing that exists without considering what would be better for the characters already existing.

Now. Do I think the various characters and their relationships are like, examined well and the ultimate thematic core of it conveyed well? E.....eeeeeeeeeeh. I mean, I've already said I think Skadi is mediocre, and ultimately, I don't like the story. But when approaching suggestions of what to change, I'd want to keep the author's intent in mind, because it's not my story. It's hers. Its what she wanted to do. Examining it through a different lens, with different ideas, and theorizing on how these ideas could be reflected and transformed into other things is valuable, but can only really effectively done with the heart of the writer is taken into consideration first.

This is something I think fandom generally has trouble with. Online fandom and the relationship to creators that has developed is like, deeply, toxicly fucked up. Those who create have been dehumanized to such an extreme extent, their so-called fans stripping them of any humanity and consuming their content in pure, decadent self-absorption, that no thought goes into the hearts of those who put their work out into the world. Idolized or demonized or forgotten, if you create and share it, you are doomed to having your watermarks filed off, your intentions disregarded or maligned, your work fed to AI to be regurgitated en-mass, and all manner of assumptions placed into the void of your privacy as people slander you, harass you, or glorify you into an inhuman caricature of yourself.

Like, THE REASON IT IS NO LONGER STATED WHAT AUTHOR WROTE WHAT STORY-CHAPTERS IN FGO IS BECAUSE OF THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO SENT SAKURAI FUCKING DEATH THREATS. ANY DISCUSSION OF SKADI AND HER INTENT AS A CHARACTER, ANY NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS MADE ABOUT WHY SHE WAS WRITTEN THAT WAY, IS WRITTEN ABOUT A WOMAN WHO WAS TOLD EN-MASS TO GO DIE FOR HER WORK, SIMPLY FOR THE CRIME OF A GACHA GAME CHAPTER BEING KINDA BAD.

When talking about her ideas, her stories, her characters, just... think of Sakurai as a human being, please. That's what I mean with all this, a generalized plea to remember that every story was penned by a living, breathing human being. Creators and their characters aren't thought of as people anymore, and analyzing a character or story while paying no regard to them or what they were trying to say fucking sucks. There's value in examining how you'd approach something, but editing someone's work and saying 'I did it better!' is cruel. Dismissing the writing of women by calling them waifus, talking about how 'clearly, the author was stupid and didn't take any time to research' about new story-chapters, without yourself thinking through what the author could have been trying to say with it is... just... treating people like they're soulless sacks of flesh meant for you to dispense content as it pleases you.

No creator in this world gets paid enough for that horseshit.

-- Thank you so much for the question! This wasn't inspired by any kind of immediate take I saw, by the way, I was just trying to dissect the authorial intent of Mephistopheles in the last JP event and got to thinking a bit about LB2, Skadi, and how even if I don't like her, I viscerally hate it whenever LB2 comes up on Beast's Lair.

[ladysolwind]

I broke out the 3DS and started playing Echoes a few days ago. Simultaneously, I both really love and am severely irritated by it. Some thoughts about it from someone who has played Gaiden, albeit over a decade ago.

The streamlined gameplay definitely has its benefits. Battles flow really well and it makes combat very easy to plan. The HP based magic can get so broken so fast if you put one mage on attack and one mage on heal. Promotions really feel like an upgrade. The one item system with no durability is different, but not necessarily in a bad way. Like finding a silver bow is a reward and not just like "oh cool free bow." You have to really think about who gets what. Also because this system is so constrictive there are some wild items in there.

The visuals are a glow up. I really like the character designs vs how everyone looks in Gaiden. Compared to Shadow Dragon, I feel like there was a lot of effort and creativity put into the redesigns. Mathilda probably wins as my favorite character design in the game. Hot damn that woman is beautiful.

Like if the girl on the left is just as pretty as the girl on the right.

Shout out to the music, too. Like some of it slapped in 8-Bit Gaiden glory, so it only gets better. With Mila's Divine Protection is probably one of my favorite songs in all of Fire Emblem.

Complaints and my Fire Emblem plans under the cut.

The grinding. Oh lord, the grinding. It's brutal. Going through dungeons and having the tiny three monster fights over and over. It's tedious as all hell and I am not here for it. The DLC helps, but that's not all that much of an option during the first two chapters. And you have to grind. It's unavoidable.

It's also a real pain in the ass to even promote. Like I just finished Chapter 4, and every time I needed to promote, I had to fight this giant hoard of necrodragons to get to the dungeon, then fight an unavoidable encounter in the dungeon, promote, evacuate, and then fight the necrodragons again on the way back to where I was.

Archanea. I get it, it's pronounced to reflect how you pronounce アカネイア but it sounds stupid this way. This is very important to me D:< the Archanea games are very close to my heart. Shadow Dragon was my first. Don't make it stupid.

Yet all of it is still such a step up from Gaiden that I'm not even that pressed about it. Yeah it sucks, but Gaiden was so much worse!

My plan at this point is to go through every Fire Emblem game. I've played Shadow Dragon and the Blade of Light, Gaiden, and Mystery of the Emblem. The first two were with a lot of save state abuse rewinding, and fast forwarding, so it wasn't the authentic experience but, I mean, come on. They're clunky Famicom games. This was less of the case with Mystery of the Emblem.

Then I haven't played another game until Shadow Dragon. I've played every game since, including spin offs, except for Tokyo Mirage Sessions. But that leaves a pretty big gap of some really beloved games in this series that I only know through osmosis, Heroes, and Engage.

My plan is to play and rank them as I go. Next on my list is Fates. In order to give it a fair shake I'm playing all three routes, but in order to make it tolerable I'm refusing to make any child units. I'll do it in Awakening where it makes sense, but not in Fates. Maybe I'll marry Corrin off but that's it.

So far this list is:

1. Three Houses

2. Engage

3. Echoes

With Engage beating out Echoes by a smidge solely because of the tedious grinding in the former.

Let's see how long I'll go until I burn out.

[perihthiscasual]

Did the adulting today & found out I made a little over $2,000 in 2022... it's hardly a scratch on the surface, when compared.

I knew getting into it would be tough - I have a luxury that very, very few do, & that's the ability to put my full effort into things like this knowing that the outcome is very possible to be... just that. I don't have to worry about the bills not being paid, or the roof over my head being removed. Some grocery trips are slim & that's okay.

But I am very grateful & well-aware of just how lucky & fortunate I am in this kind of situation.

But it also takes a huge weight on me to know that... it's literately that small. It's hardly a pinch. & it's not fair for my partner in retrospect.

He's never bothered by it. He's nothing but unrelenting support & hype when it comes to doing what I do & what I love. But the overwhelming feeling of being a burden to his life style - an anchor down from other opportunities or something of that nature - he swears it's never the case but that doesn't stop the guilt or understanding that, he does, in fact, have an option to live a more comfortable life.

These thoughts tend to get the better of me somedays - especially when numbers are involved (buying our home was a nightmare for me, & taxes every year - even prior content creation are something that send a hollow hold on my chest. I've never succeeded in finding any full-time opportunities & the part-times are always 20 or less hours - or just beneath 40 to keep me from full-time payroll that I just break & leave). We've never had to owe anything minus one year when I found out my employer did not tax me for the entire first year I worked for them - a nasty incident, but, aside from that - we always get barely a second paycheck in turn for our yearly refund.

But shitty US tax law & returns aside...

I thought I had made a jump between 2021 & 2022 in streaming. I genuinely felt like I made a noticeable difference in my presentation, my schedule, my output. But the numbers show otherwise that I'm still not.. quite there. Hardly moved, really.

& it makes me fearful for 2023.

With the rebrand finally done, it's a weight lifted that I can move forward comfortably & confidently without the Bungie sticker stuck to my foot. But lately even my Tiktoks have been a shot in the dark - is it the content? the hours its posting? wrong tags? Am I still messing up to such a degree that I've stunted my own growth?

It's hard to tell. I've been digging at my analytics on all of my accounts - & I can't find where the decline starts. What is excused primarily as RNG can only be so much - there has to be SOMETHING I can do to change the pace & find traction.

But I really don't want this to be a third year in a row of maximum effort, minimum reward. Nor do I want to devalue my content creation in any way that some may view it as not worthwhile. I would never want to put out any less for those who've stuck with me thus far & those who haven't even found me yet. As someone who wants to pursue this - I want to be worth your time.

I was recommended an application for a job over the summer.

It would mean a change in stream-times, if it somehow miraculously succeeds; but I'm not holding myself to it. Yet if it does.. somehow. Monetarily, it would be a noticeable change. But I worry it would cause my content creation to fall flat. Gods, I really, really don't want it to fall flat after dedicating a sole two years.

But I don't want to play the risk that isn't trying to maintain a reliable income VS continuing my creation pursuit. At the very, very least - I owe it to Kashil to try.

Pardon my nightly thoughts. I had to get them out somewhere.

[krokaxe]

do you have any advise on stopping copying? its happened to me too but i dont want to lock my accounts or delete my work

Assuming you mean other people copying your work? Don't delete anything. Leave a distinct timeline of your work around.

If you want to stop material from being immediately accessible, you can make posts private (at least on Tumblr). It's what I do to keep my work around— so I can access it Immediately if plagiarism continues after its been hidden— across the board. That way I can make posts public and reblog for visibility if the need arises; it keeps the original dates there for reference.

This is going to be long so I'll put the rest under the cut.

I have a lot of posts set to private and fics archived to prevent my material from being ripped off that way. However, if you have DMs/conversations with people where you discuss the work that they're copying, make a record of it. Screenshot and do a video screen grab. You might have to do a long scroll if it's on the likes of Tumblr or Discord, but it's better to have a cohesive reel of the conversation for the sake of transparency.

Now, unfortunately people who copy other people's work don't often take kindly to being called out. It depends on the severity. The only reason I haven't named people directly is because I'd rather simply present the compiled Evidence to those who point it out to me.

However, if it continues— or travels further into the audacity zone— I will simply make an accessible list with compiled evidence. I strongly suggest you make 'case files' for yourself in much the same way.

In the era of call out posts being made to wage attacks over arguments, stick to the facts. As much as it is a personal matter, I'd suggest keeping any personal commentary out of it. It's easier to digest as X + Y = Z.

The thing about plagiarism is to remember a lot of people are desperate for internet clout. Like, deranged levels of equating numbers/attention to success. We all want attention for our work— hence we post anywhere at all— but the apparent need to be First and The Person Who Does The Thing is pretty blatant amidst those who would rather rip off others than put in the work.

Being good at anything requires effort— a willingness to put time and energy into learning. People who copy don't do that. They want rewards and validation; they're not doing what they do for creative integrity.

Block evasion is something you will likely be facing, given these sorts don't be like to be told no. Unfortunately there's not much we can do about that— it's not like people who steal directly from others will give a fuck about set boundaries.

So, in short:

Compile evidence: your work vs the copied work. Links, screenshots, video grabs etc. A timeline is your best bet for relaying plagiarism. If you need help compiling easy to understand comparisons, you'll have to DM me off anon. I won't be doing that publicly because it would only be used for avoidance purposes lmao.

Block the offending parties across the board. Including from any sideblogs and the like.

Don't delete your work! You can hide posts/archive most things now. You may need it to reference back to.

Don't stop creating. People will Always do this one way or another; don't drop what you love to do just because there's people who are so entitled as to try and take advantage, yk?

As I've said before, people who plagiarise aren't doing what they do because they want to join in. It's an entitlement issue— they want what they perceive to be a Reward without bothering to work for it. There's no joy in that.

I truly have no time for people who plagiarise lmao. Just remember that it says a lot about them as people.

@krokaxe self tag for rb purposes

[greatwyrmgold]

HoloSurvivors comparison

So I've played a lot of HoloCure, and I recently noticed that there's a Vampire Survivors demo on itch, so I've been playing a bit of that. I felt like talking about the differences. Beyond the obvious aesthetic differences, the big difference I noticed is that VS is more grinding while HC is more overwhelming.

(Caveat: I've bought all the HC upgrades and almost none of the VS ones, meaning I'm fighting the lategame HC hordes and struggling against early-game VS enemies. I think the conclusion applies in general, but I've been playing the most overwhelming part of HC and the grindiest part of VS—in part because I've turned off the HC upgrades for a couple games, in part because my conclusion is more nuanced than "VS is hard".)

Let's start with health. VS makes it easy to lose health brushing against an enemy, but hard to recover that health; enemies don't seem to drop food, and there aren't any healing items I've seen. By contrast, HC drops food more regularly and renewably, while making it tougher to lose a little health...with aggressive swarm attacks and tight enemy packing that makes it easier to lose a lot of health from a single mistake. When things go wrong in HC, they go wrong fast; when things go wrong in VS, it's a game of attrition, losing health as the enemy horde grows.

Of course, it's not just the health systems that cause this impression. Vampire Survivors's weapons feel weaker, and it's not just the upgrades—I still feel a difference after refunding upgrades and disabling gacha rank bonuses. It's easier to hit enemies with the weapons, both because the areas usually hit larger areas and because you can aim more HC weapons. Plus, each attack can hit more enemies, due to both larger attack sizes and more forgiving hit limits.

To balance this, HC throws a lot more enemies at you—I'm pretty sure more were onscreen by minute 2 of HoloCure's first stage than any point in VS's five five or so, and there were also shrimps. Also, the "bosses" in Vampire Survivors (as far as I've seen) are relatively weaksauce; they have a bit more health, but they're not that much more dangerous (or rewarding) than ordinary enemies. HC bosses are bigger, more dangerous, and more rewarding. The sum effect of these weapon and enemy tweaks is immense; VS has you trying to evade enemies and hit them with finicky weapons, while HC is more about prioritizing which part of the enemy horde to focus on first.

There are other differences that come into this. VS enemies drop XP less consistently (though I think in somewhat greater amounts); XP feels more scarce, and chasing it down is a bit more involved, since pickup ranges are a bit shorter. HC special attacks let the player deal with the occasional situation about to get out of hand, which lets the devs push closer to that line without making the endgame unplayable. And, of course, those obvious aesthetic differences.

Vampire Survivors's art is dull, and I don't mean that in a "programmer art" sort of way. (At least, not just in that way.) The color palette is drab, the sprites don't move much, the projectiles are simple. It sets a grim tone, and makes it easy to see exactly how grim things are. HoloCure's colorful art and energetic animation makes things pop; the detailed projectiles and effects of its weapons, especially the collabs, push this even further. It makes the game more overwhelming, forces you to focus on the forest (since you can't see all the trees), and makes you put in some effort to figure out which part of the enemy horde needs to be focused on first.

The "Vampire-Survivors-like" genre is still pretty young, but even with these early and straightforward examples, this sort of compare-and-contrast exercise is interesting. Seemingly minor mechanical and aesthetic tweaks add up to completely different experiences.